My friend once had a good chuckle when I sent her email partly saying ” I talked to my Mum”. I didnt get it at first, but the ” Mum” part was the funny piece. You see in the US of A, we say ” Mom” not ” Mum”! Well being the me I am, I quickly embraced the observation and actually found myself consciously thinking about it…so many things we do all our lives without thought or second thought.
They say ( and I am seriously paraphrasing here) that you can judge a woman’s progression through the Mommy to Mom to Mother – for some reason, I don’t see myself calling my Mom ( yah see how quickly I embrace observations!) , Mother! I call my Mom Mama. Mama said in a Kisii Accent – Lol!
Growing up we used to wonder why Mummy carried either big bags/purses or multiple bags in lieu of the former. I mean what happened to fitting your ID aka Kitambulisho, some money and keys in a small kibeti and going your way? I went through that phase – the small, single purse stage too, but quickly became my Mama. Mama still has a purse for her “things”, another for things she is taking to her friends, and another bag just in case!
Going to grad school for me meant working full time and going to class once a week for 4 hours. Leaving my house early in the morning meant I was laden with my laptop case, my purse, my book bag and another bag with ” things” in it – so I officially no longer wondered how a woman can carry so much with her all the time!
But there are also other reasons why I am Mama’s daughter:
1. I am an excellent cook
I cook very well ( repetition intended!). I am very comfortable in the kitchen and love to experiment with new ideas. My mum makes this terrific pan fried meat stew….with Ugali and garden fresh kale aka sukumawiki aka collard greens mmmmmhhhh!!!….I am almost going to catch a flight at the thought of that! Over the years, my favorites have also evolved, but my favorite still remains Italian. I also have developed a strong liking for seafood – yes, the fish, shrimp, mussels etc. I am tending to stay away from red meat; I just do not crave for it anymore.
I cant remember “formal” cooking lessons at home – it was more of a watch and learn kind of thing. But, they say you learn from the best right? Right!
2. I love tea
And by tea, I don’t mean green tea – though I do enjoy green tea chilled with a dash of lime. By tea I mean Kenyan Chai – the kind with Milk and loose tea leaves with Tea Masala. I drink tea all the time, My Dad used to tell anyone that would listen that her daughter a.k.a me, could easily live on tea.
When my mum visited us in the US of A, the best part was waking up to Mama’s fresh made Kenyan Tea!
In high school, sometimes I would spend my school breaks with my aunt – my mum’s younger sister. She was more “big sister” to me than “mother figure”. I remember sitting with her talking into the wee hours of the night over lots and lots of tea. And she would talk to me about “stuff ” and we would laugh loudly, Kenyan style. Two women bonding over tea.
People wonder how I can drink so much tea; Well, I just can!
3. I have this quiet disposition that says a tonne – no words necessary. Enough said!
4. I love shoes
Now shoes have to be talked about! I share a shoe size with my mum and one of my sisters. So days of living at home ( many years ago), meant there was an abundance of shoes to choose from! The thing runs in the O_____ women.
A while back, my then 2 year old niece had tonsil surgery. She wakes up from, and the first thing she says ” I want my shoes”! So she is wheeled back to her hospital room wearing the hospital “sarongs” and … yes , her shoes!
My sis P says ” a woman can never have too many shoes” – words from a wise woman! F, my other sister finally had to give in and learn to walk in 6 inch heels as soon as she left high school.
I personally think that a woman who doesnt know who to walk in heels need to learn or learn!
5. Keeping my head above water
My mum has an uncanny way of sifting through issues, knowing what to keep and knowing what to throw out. I can confidently say she still keeps me grounded. Calling my mum is still the best “therapy” for me. Lol! All I have to do is listen and I will hang up feeling better and knowing what to do – and most importantly knowing what not to do.
Its no wonder I am always running up my phone bill calling directly from my cell phone instead of using a calling card. Sometimes those cards are so irritating, takes forever to go through, fuzzy lines and you end up spending a chunk of time saying ” can you hear me?”
Sitting here typing, I just realize that should I keep typing, this post shall never end! There are simply too many things that make me my Mum’s daughter.
I love my Mum’s resilience, the fact that she has always pushed me to be all I can. She has thoroughly ” threatened” any of her children away from mediocrity. She always says, give it your best shot and do not settle for just good enough!
Right now as I work my way through my third and hopefully last degree, she is my greatest rally. She understands what I want and will stop at nothing to see that I get to getting there….what more can a daughter ask for? And as I have grown older, seriously, I am becoming my Mum – a most awesome thing! In College, I used to say, if I cant be more like Jesus, let me be more like my mum.
Mama has also raised other wonderful mum’s; my 2 sisters are also mum’s. I know, the values they are instilling in H and K, my nieces are a trickle down effect from a wonderful mum’s touch – and they will both grow up to be wonderful women. My nephew B ( my brother’s son), is also blessed to have such a wonderful grandma by his side – he shall definitely grow up to be a young man that understands the force that is an awesome woman’s nurturing.
In their song “Mama”, Il Divo belt out ” Mama thank you for who I am, thank you for all the things I’m not”
That about says it – I am mum’s daughter and there is nothing else in the world I would rather be. I shall now proceed to wait for 2 more hours, call my Mum and have a good laugh about “things”
...HoW I sEe IT... 